Sam’s Weird and Eventful Dreams
by Lyssoik
Summary: Part One: Super Sam
1. Default Chapter

(A/n ... OoC...Weird...More to come...Silly Samuel. I own none of this, except for the weird plot. Weeeird.) 

  
  


**Sam's Weird and Eventful Dreams**

Part One: Super Sam 

As I walked down the street, busses and cars whizzing past me, I realized two things. One, I, Sam Seaborn, was not a normal human being. Two, I had on two different socks, navy blue, and red. Bright red. Where in the hell did I get a bright red sock? 

"Dammit!" I yelled a bit too loudly. A little old lady turned around and glared at me, then smiled when she saw what I was looking at. My socks. I smiled sarcastically at her, and hoped that no one at the office would notice. It would be awhile before C.J would let it go. Josh would get a good laugh out of it too. I just didn't have time to go back and change them. Or did I? 

Like I said, I just realized I'm not a 'normal human being'. How you may ask, I don't know. Stop laughing. I'm not normal. I know you all know that. I mean, supernatural not normal. Yeah. That's it. Supernatural. I'm…Super Sam. Ha. That has a…nice ring to it. Oh yeah, I know I have supernatural powers because the little elf told me. His name was Boo. He looked a lot like Marcellus off of Big Brother Three…But I only ever watched it one and only because I didn't feel like changing the channel. Excuse me, I'm digressing. So, Boo told me, and for some reason, I believe him. 

Boo never told me that my name was Super Sam though, I made that up. I'm so creative. Boo told me that if ever I wanted to use my powers, all I had to do was yell out, 'Chicken gumbo on a stick!' really loud, then poof! I could use a power. I had to yell that out each time I wanted to use a different one. I thought maybe I could…magically send my other navy blue sock to me, and then I could change in the taxi. 

I looked around, and saw that the streets were exceptionally empty. I took a deep breath, and shouted, "Chicken gumbo on a stick!" The little old lady turned around again. Oh well. I felt different now. Lighter. I focused all my mind power on my other navy blue sock, and pictured it zooming towards me. All of a sudden something hit me in the back of the head. It was the other bright red sock. 

"Hell!" I shouted as loud as the chicken gumbo thing. Again, the little old lady turned around. She looked kind of scared almost. Then giggled at the sock that was hanging in my face. The bright red one. Oh well. At least I would be able to have two matching socks. 

I hailed a cab. The driver was toothless, and bald, except for a fringe on the back of his head. I always got the gems. Take note to sarcasm. I told him where I was headed, and then realized I was going to be late. Oh well, not as late as I would have been had I walked back home to get my sock. My sock! I grabbed it off my head, and replaced the navy blue one. They now matched, though seemed to glow. Hell. 

"Here we are." The driver coughed. I paid him, and left him a generous tip because I had no time to wait for my change. I flew into the office, and the first thing I head was C.J's voice. 

"Samuel, cover your feet. They're blinding me." They were that bright. I sighed and gave her a look. She laughed. 

Other then a comment or two from Josh, and one from Donna, I was left alone about my socks. The Devil socks. The socks from hell. The Richard Simmons's of socks. The… A frantic Leo interrupted my sock bashing. 

"He's going to jump!" Leo was white as a ghost, and shaking. "The president! He's going to jump!" 

"What?!" Josh yelped. He motioned for everyone to stay calm, and stay where they were. "Donna, calm Leo down. Sam, come with me." 

We slowly entered the president's office, where he was staring up at the ceiling, standing in the middle of his two and a half foot desk. What? He was on his desk. The day just got weirder. Josh turned as white as Leo. I, well, I laughed. I couldn't stop laughing. It was hilarious. Josh glared at me. I thought he was going to hit me. 

"I'm jumping. No one needs me. Those Rice Crispy trio owns this country. Everyone loves them. I'm not needed." With saying that, he leaped. Josh made a weird noise, and threw himself under the president to…I'm not sure. Break his fall or something. Only, they both lay there, motionless. Donna and C.J ran in. 

"No! Jooosh!" Donna wailed, and threw herself at the broken Josh that still lay on the floor. "He's dead. So is the president." 

C.J stood dumbfounded. I laughed again. "Good joke guys. That's a laugh." No one else was laughing. I felt for Joshes pulse. There wasn't one. Oh my god! What the hell? I needed to do something, fast. 

"Chicken gumbo on a stick!!!" I shouted for the second time today. I felt light again, and kind of unsure what to do. Donna's tearstained face stared up at me as if I were insane. Maybe I was. I waved my hands over the two dead bodies. Words popped up in my head, I didn't know what language. I chanted them. Josh and the president woke up. I was…Super Sam! 

C.J nudged Toby. "Gumbo?" 

I stared at them, shrugged. The president and Josh were good as new. I was a hero or something along the lines of that. Some people looked as if they thought I was a freak. People were hugging the president, crying. Josh and Donna were making out in the corner. What?! Josh and Donna? Why didn't I know about them? I started walking towards them. A phone was ringing. How would I be able to hear a phone on top of all this commotion? My powers I guess. I picked it up, Josh was on the other end 

"How come you're not at work?" He demanded. "We need you today, you could have at least called in sick!" 

"What? I'm at work…I'm…" I looked around me. I was tangled in a mass of bedding. I had been asleep. 


	2. Chapter Two

Sam's Weird and Eventful Dreams _Part Two: Bipity, Bopity, Blow-Up Dolls_

I was dreaming, I had to be. There was Donna laying in my bed, beside me, and she was…well, she was naked. That wasn't the weirdest part though, because Josh was there too, laying on the other side of her snoring loudly. He was also naked. This couldn't be good. Can you spell 'scandal'? Oh well. It was a dream anyways. I wonder what we did. I hope Josh and I were never…close. But even so, Josh is my best friend, and HE'S in love with Donna. Still, it's just a dream. Oops, dream phone's ringing. Wait a minute. That's the real phone. Josh and Donna were gone. I was alone. The phone wasn't ringing though. Strange.

"Weird dream. I don't even remember the part where we did stuff, if we even did anything at all." Mental pictures were swimming threw my head. I shook them out; they would be lonely in there anyways. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, about to start my daily routine. I set my foot on the floor, and it kind of bounced. It didn't hit the floor.

"What the hell?" I moved my foot around and looked. What I saw was insane. Blow-up dolls, and they were everywhere. I looked more closely at the one my foot was resting on. Toby?! It was a blow-up doll, of Toby. I looked around again, and saw that the dolls were an assortment of Toby and Josh, with different facial expressions. This one of Toby looked like he was enjoying an everyday activity too much…my foot was on his crotch. I moved it quickly, embarrassed. Why I was embarrassed, I do not know.

Picking up the doll, I set it on the bed, which looked bad. Then I set my feet on the actual floor, and stood up. Kicking dolls out of my way, I managed to make it to the bathroom. There was a thoughtful looking Josh sitting on the toilet, and a Toby floating in a bathtub full of water. I stared at them, and then brushed my teeth. My feet found my slippers, and then I swam my way to the door that lead to the hall. I wonder what would be out here.

"Good gods. This is nuts." What I saw beyond the oddities in my bedroom was completely the opposite of what was in it. Only, opposite in a bad way. My bedroom opened up into a square shaped hall, with another bathroom and a separate bedroom door. I didn't even look in these two rooms, because what I saw in the hall was enough. There was a blow-up Josh sporting a Speedo looking type thing, and swinging from my ceiling, on a vine. There was a Toby hanging by his feet too. They weren't moving, just hanging there. Also, at my feet was an array of dolls, like in my room. I pushed my way through them, laughing at the facial expressions. A sleepy Josh here, a stoned Toby there.

"I could make hundreds on E-Bay. Too bad I'd get fired." Kicking at a Josh, I noticed the armchair in my living room. It was sitting on top of my coffee table, and in it was a doll slightly bigger then the rest. Only, it wasn't Josh or Toby. It was the First Lady. Abbey Bartlet was sitting in my living room, on the newly elevated chair, and was full of hot air, only literally. I blinked at her a few times, giggled, and swam to the kitchen.

"Well, at least I don't have to feed them all." I stared, amused, into my empty fridge. Well, almost empty. It held, a pitcher of juice that was ages old, a meat drawer with a block of blue cheese in it … Wait, it's not supposed to be blue, it's cheddar, ew. There were jars of random pickled substances, and a freezer full of cold air and a half empty box of waffles. Oh yea, I eat like a king. King Sam. "I'm going crazy."

"Hhmmphhummph." Noises, from the living room, weird ones. I rushed into the doll filled room. The Abbey doll was moving, and attempting speech. Her mouth was painted on, limiting her vocalizing options. She fixed that problem when she saw me, by grabbing a letter opener off of the roll-top in the corner and slicing the material she was composed of across the lips. What surprised me the most was, no air seemed to escape. She didn't deflate.

"Hello there, my pretty." She cackled. It was odd sounding, Mrs.B's cackle. "How dare you stare open-mouthed at Ezra, Queen of the blow-up dolls? I deserve more respect then that. Bow."

I raised an eyebrow. She pointed at me with her arm outstretched as she made the command. I looked at her for a moment longer and gave in. I did as she ordered, then laughed at myself. Bad move, Sam. 'Ezra' looked mortified.

"You will pay for laughing at me as you are!" She lunged at me, and took me down. She was heavier then I would expect. I thought she would just bounce off of me. We began rolling around, screaming at each other in rage. She grabbed my hair and pulled with all her might.

"Ow!" I stopped tugging at her ear, and grabbed my hear where she had pulled. There was a small bald spot. "Why you!"

We continued rolling around, and she had just gotten me in a headlock while laying on top of me with me on my stomach when I noticed something. The Josh and Toby dolls were moving. Not all of them, but most. They started walking in from the kitchen and I heard doors opening down the hall. They formed a ring around Ezra and me, and appeared to be drooling. Ezra stood up and stomped her foot down on my back, I was speechless.

"Pile up!" She yelled, and I attempted to roll over and see what was going on. The Josh and Toby dolls were closing in on me while Ezra backed away, laughing evilly. One doll jumped and landed on me. The rest of them followed suit. They were covering me, and were heavy.

"Get off!" I tried to yell, "I … can't breathe!"

I don't think I was heard. I started flailing my arms about madly. I was being suffocated by a bunch of air-filled Josh and Toby's. What a way to go. My arms were too busy moving wildly in the air to notice that they weren't coming into contact with any dolls.

I grabbed the substance covering my face and threw it. It was a pillow. It flew through the air and landed at my feet, on the bed. My alarm was beeping beside me, and my sheet was laying on the floor. I switched off my alarm and sat up. My floor was clear, not a doll in sight.

"I can never look at Toby or Josh again." I rubbed my eyes and got up to get ready for work. "I need a therapist."

**The End**


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